


Hanging by a Thread

by remanth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Hallucifer, Hallucinations, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, hanging by a thread
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4114429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam can't sleep because of his hallucinations and it's killing him. Until Gabriel shows up to drive them all away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanging by a Thread

There wasn’t much time left. He knew that, knew his body was shutting down. It had been 7 days - no wait 8? or was it 9? - since he’d last been able to sleep. Every time he ran his fingers through his hair now, strands came away tangled around his fingers. There was an ache in his bones that never went away no matter how he positioned himself. Lying down and just breathing hurt. Then there was Lucifer.

Sam was sure he was a hallucination. He had to be because the only other explanation was that he was still stuck in the cage with the damned archangel. It was better to believe he was hallucinating, that these were memories of Hell wrapped up in craziness let loose in his mind after Castiel broke the wall Death put up. After the last case he’d worked with Dean, when he’d wandered away from their motel in a half-daze, Sam had checked himself into a mental institution. It’s what they were for, after all. Delusions and craziness. They should be able to help, right? Yet two days after he’d checked himself in - it was 9 days, definitely, since he’d last slept, nothing had changed. He’d been given enough drugs to drop a horse but he still couldn’t sleep.

“You know what, Sam? I think I’m tired of Zeppelin,” Lucifer said conversationally from his perch on the desk in the corner. “What we need now is some Shakespeare.”

Sam was curled in on himself on the little bed in the center of the room, resolutely turned away from the image of Lucifer and hanging onto the last remains of his sanity by a thread. It didn’t help but it provided an excuse not to look at his hallucination. At least he wasn’t throwing firecrackers underneath the bed anymore. When the sharp popping noises cracked, Sam always jumped and that hurt. There was a moment of blessed silence while Lucifer considered what piece of Shakespeare’s he wanted to start with. These silences didn’t happen often but enough to give Sam hope. Hope that this time he could sleep, this time Lucifer might be gone. It never happened but the hope was still there. It was all he had left.

This time, though, the silence continued to stretch on. The only sound Sam could hear was his hoarse breathing. It had to be another trick, another way for his hallucination to torture him. Maybe Lucifer was trying something new, lulling him into a sense of relief before unleashing a new onslaught. And still, the silence continued. Eventually, Sam worked up the courage to uncurl himself and roll over in the bed. He groaned quietly as he moved slowly, each limb moving as if through molasses. Looking up at the desk, Sam felt a thrill of disbelief and hope flash through him. Lucifer wasn’t there anymore. The desk was completely empty, as was the rest of the room when Sam swept his eyes over it. Pushing himself upright, Sam twisted to look under the bed and was relieved there was nothing under there either. Honestly, he wouldn’t have been surprised had Lucifer been hiding under there to jump out and scare him.

“Hiya Samsquatch,” Gabriel’s voice came from the foot of the bed. “What’d you do to get yourself stuck in here?”

“Gabriel?” Sam asked, pulling his upper body back onto the bed and looking at the archangel he never thought he’d see again. “What are you doing here? Wait, no, don’t answer that. I’m just imagining this. It’s another torture.”

“Torture? Why would I want to torture you?” Gabriel chuckled, tilting his head to the side and crossing his arms over his chest.

“ _You_ wouldn’t,” Sam replied, shaking his head and closing his eyes. If Lucifer was going to become someone else and just talk, maybe Sam could get some sleep. Even if it hurt to not look at the archangel that had somehow talked his way into Sam’s trust, bed, and heart. “But you’re not you. Go away, Lucifer. You don’t get to use his image like this.”

Gabriel moved around the bed, worry and sympathy on his face. Though Sam turned his head to follow the sound of his footsteps, the hunter still never opened his eyes. Studying Sam, Gabriel felt a pain in his heart and his stomach twist into knots. Well, his vessel did at least. The hunter looked so worn down and fragile, so much smaller than his frame would suggest. There was a hunch to his shoulders and a pinched look on his face as if there was weight on him that he just couldn’t carry anymore. And even though Sam’s eyes were squeezed closed, tears glimmered wetly in the lashes. All Gabriel wanted to do was get into bed with Sam, wrap his arms around his shoulders, and pull him close. But he did none of that, merely sat on the edge of the bed. When Sam flinched at the movement, anger flashed through Gabriel. Damn his brother for whatever he’d done to Sam.

“It’s not Lucifer this time, kiddo,” Gabriel promised, nudging Sam’s leg with his fingers. He waited until Sam opened his eyes to smile and wave at him. “All me.”

For a few silent moments, Sam could only stare at Gabriel’s fingers on his leg. His hallucinations had been very involved before, seeming completely real until they broke. But he’d never been touched before. Lucifer had never touched him, just yelled at him and twisted reality around him. Tentatively, Sam reached out towards Gabriel’s hand and slid a finger over the back of his hand. The archangel was completely solid and warm, exactly how he’d felt the last time Sam had touched him. With a strangled cry of relief, Sam surged forward and wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders. He let his head fall onto the archangel’s shoulder and just cried, letting out all the frustration and fear and pain. Gabriel made shushing noises and rubbed a hand up and down Sam’s back as he cried.

“Oh god, Gabe, I thought I’d never see you again,” Sam muttered into Gabriel’s neck. “You were dead, I saw you dead. Lucifer killed you. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Believe it, I really am here,” Gabriel said, running a hand over Sam’s hair before letting it rest on the back of his neck. Tension drained out of Sam as he sat crying and Gabriel let him take as long as he needed. It had been far too long since he’d been able to touch Sam, hold him and reassure himself that the hunter was still here. He wasn’t quite sure why he’d become so invested in Sam, why he’d fallen in love with him. But he didn’t fight it because he enjoyed Sam’s company. Enjoyed Sam. “It’s all right, Sam. You’re gonna be okay.”

After several minutes, Sam’s crying finally slowed. He wiped a hand over his face, still clinging to Gabriel. There was no way he was letting go, not yet. He pressed a kiss over Gabriel’s pulse and sat back, scrubbing at his face again. It felt hot and achy, like it did after the other times he’d cried. But he managed a smile knowing that Gabriel wasn’t really dead. That led to the question of where he’d been, though.

“I can see what you’re thinking,” Gabriel said as Sam opened his mouth to ask. “Where have I been, right? What happened? Well, it’s a long story, kiddo, so why don’t we get you comfortable and I can tell it to you.”

Sam nodded and they rearranged themselves on his bed. Sam half-reclined against the back of the bed with his head on Gabriel’s shoulder while Gabriel wrapped an arm around Sam’s shoulders. Their free hands reached for each other and their fingers twined together before dropping to Gabriel’s leg. Sam’s thumb stroked slowly over the back of Gabriel’s hand, his eyes watching the movement until he couldn’t keep them open anymore. And still, Lucifer hadn’t come back. There were no hallucinations or noises to keep him awake. Just the warmth of Gabriel next to him and the sound of their breathing in the room.

“All right, spill,” Sam yawned, flicking a glance up at Gabriel. “What happened.”

“Close your eyes, Sam, and relax,” Gabriel told him, kissing the top of his head. He’d take advantage of that as much as he could right now; normally the hunter was far too tall for him to kiss like that. “What you saw at the motel was true, up to a point. I did face off against Lucifer and he did stab me. Luckily enough for me, big bro missed just enough for me to survive. I faked my death, faked my dead body in case he came back to check. That’s what you found in the hotel. I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you, kiddo. Lucifer was on your ass like white on rice and I couldn’t let him know I was alive.”

“Makes sense,” Sam murmured, already half-asleep from the sound of Gabriel’s voice. “So why wait so long to come back? Lucifer’s been gone a while.”

“I was healing. Lucifer missed by just enough but the injury was serious,” Gabriel said, voice turning quiet as he remembered the first harrowing months after the encounter. “Every day, I expected to die because of the damage. It took a long time before I could even stand up, much less come and find you. By then, you were pretty thoroughly hidden and Bobby’s home was gone. I didn’t know where to look. So I kept an eye out hoping to find you through hunts and the like.”

“So what drew you here?” Sam asked, cracking open an eye to look up at Gabriel again. He smiled when Gabriel took the opportunity to kiss his forehead. “Why now?”

“Well, if you can believe it, _you_ drew me here. I heard you praying,” Gabriel chuckled at the incredulous look on Sam’s face. “You were praying for peace, for sleep. So I followed the prayer and found you here. Your turn now. Why are you in here? What happened?”

“Memories of Hell,” Sam replied, yawning again at the last syllable. “Too tired to tell the whole story. Hallucinating Lucifer and he’s been keeping me up. But since you came, he hasn’t been here. Can finally sleep.”

Sam’s voice grew quieter with each word, his head drooping against Gabriel’s shoulder. By the last word, he was sound asleep. His breathing was even and deep, whole body relaxed against Gabriel. The archangel just brushed a hand over Sam’s head again, pressing a kiss to the crown. He watched Sam sleep, smoothing a hand over his forehead whenever Sam mumbled in his sleep. When he delved into Sam’s head to find these memories the hunter had mentioned, Gabriel almost recoiled in shock and revulsion. There were so many terrible, painful things stored there, things that should have broken Sam completely and remade him into something unrecognizable. That they hadn’t was a testament to Sam’s goodness and compassion. As love flowed through him, Gabriel tried to do something about those memories. Erase them, burn them out, even just shove them away to where they wouldn’t bother Sam. But there was nothing he could do. Those memories remained stubbornly in place.

“Well, if I can’t get rid of them, I can at least keep them at bay for a while,” Gabriel murmured, pulling Sam closer against him and stroking a hand over his head. “Sleep, kiddo, while you can. I’m here and I’ve got you.”


End file.
